Most of you have heard the acronym for FEAR. False Evidence Appearing Real. But If you've been caught up in fearful thoughts or experiences, it can feel VERY real and there appears to be plenty of evidence! At times, fear takes over our body causing adrenalin to rush through our system, taking us on a fight or flight journey that often overrides our logical mind.
The good news is that much of our fear is simply stored up reactions that we have picked up along the way, a stress response of sorts, to our various surroundings, painful worldly experiences, and past trauma. The causes for your fear may be quite real, but the persistent worries about the event re-occurring or the feeling of impending doom, is usually an illusion. In fact, what we fear most often NEVER shows up in our life and so we wind up spending years and years fearing the unknown or re-living our past, when really, we could be enjoying our present moment experience.
In many ways, we have been programmed to believe that having fear is good. We are taught that It keeps us safe and prevents us from making the same mistakes over and over again. But ironically, based on quantum physics, the more we focus on fear, the better our chances of attracting a fearful situation into our lives.
Of course there are reasons why we feel fear such as a close call car accident or questionable test results from our doctor. But if we're able to get underneath our various fears in order to discover the root of it all, then we can often begin to unravel the fight of flight fear response. Most often, our largest fear is death. Close seconds are going broke, getting sick, or losing a loved one. But extending energy into a future event that has not yet happened will only take us out of the here and now. And right now, as you read this, you have nothing to fear. In this moment....all is well.
At the other side of fear, is a deep understanding that everything happens for a reason. So while the struggle may be real, we come to understand on a deep level that everything that happens to us is happening for our growth and expansion. As we learn to trust and have faith in our Divine guidance system, we can learn to relax. If we can even get to a point where we don't fear death, then wow...we've really conquered it all.
As we learn techniques and tools to help us become more present and relaxed, it's as if we can step outside of our minds and become the observer of our lives. We begin to see our world from a new perspective and it becomes easier to detach and separate ourselves from fear.
I have experienced first hand in my life and with many clients; a re-wiring of the brain and emotional system, and a brand new life experience. From fear to freedom. From anxiety to ease. From resistance to flow.
It takes time, effort, and practice, but we can begin to separate ourselves from fear. Here are some things to consider:
1. STOP talking about your fears. When we vocalize them, we put it out into the world, making them more concrete. (Unless it's with your therapist or a trusted friend, STOP! Notice if you're telling the same story over and over again. Then, work at changing the story to a positive one.
2. Write a list of 2-3 of your biggest fears. Then peel back the layers by saying if this happens "Then what?" Example: I am afraid of going broke. "Then what?" Then, I'll have to rely on others for money. "Then What?" Then I will have to move in with my parents. Then What?" Then eventually I'll be homeless.....Then I'll die old and broke. When we can get to our core fear, we begin to realize that much of the things we worry about can be irrational.
3. Isolate one particular experience that started it all. When we can get clear on why and when we first felt the fear, we can then get busy clearing it from our system.
4. Think about other family members or ancestors that had the same fears. Often we carry them in our genetic programming and we can then work at healing and releasing those patterns.
5. Try some different modalities to not only acknowledge and accept, but to clear away programmed beliefs including Breathwork, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Hypnosis, Theta Healing, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR), Meditation and others. Keep searching until you find something that works!
With enough awareness, practice and consistency along with re-wiring your system through helpful healing modalities, we can more easily release fear and begin to experience freedom so that we can finally get on with feeling more joy and richness in the time we have left.
Love, Jay