When I was a health coach, I talked a lot about how family DNA and genetics make up a part of our overall wellness. I discussed that genetics play a smaller role than we realize, making up approximately 25% of our health story. The rest comes down to lifestyle choices. That's pretty powerful and means that much of our longevity can be positively affected by our own actions.
As I've delved into working with people using Breathwork and other healing modalities, it is very clear that the same genetic makeup, creates our emotional challenges and patterns too. I don't have the exact percentage, but I'd wager a bet that the opposite is true in this case. That at least 75% of our ingrained patterns, beliefs, fears, and struggles, come from our ancestors and are literally stored in our DNA.
Before we go blaming our lineage for passing on their shit, as we do the inner work, we come to realize that just as easily as we accepted these challenges energetically, we can also move through them and finally heal our family stories forever.
We are not destined to struggle through life. Life can be joyful most of the time. And the very family pain stories that have been passed onto us can be used for growth, expansion, and self-development. We can learn to not only send love and forgiveness to our ancestral family tree, but we can take ownership of the numerous struggles that they went through, find compassion and empathy for their pain, and then take the time to acknowledge and see where we hold similar patterns, in order to release them once and for all.
Many of us, myself included, have hung onto these deep wounds in order to feel closer to our family, feeling that if we cut the energetic cords, there will be no ties at all. But what's fascinating is that as we let go and open up to a new energy, we actually become closer to our relatives and lineage because we can bring a new perspective to the plate. We no longer come from an addictive space of struggle, chaos or trauma, but rather, one of inner peace, self-love, self-acceptance, and personal power.
Not everybody has a close family bond. The work I do with my private clients often is focused on parents and grandparents and undoing the toxic emotion that is held in our system from not getting what we needed growing up. Many people I've helped have every reason to be angry and to feel victimized by certain people in their family. What they went through was serious abuse. The pain is real. And as they've worked on themselves, they've discovered a new space, being able to let go and to move from feeling stuck to being free.
The word "family" doesn't always represent our genetic lineage, but those relationships that we have nurtured and built over years with people who support and love us unconditionally...those people who have been with us through thick and thin and those who truly have our back.
I hope that you have "family" that loves and supports you the way you deserve and please know that regardless of what happened to you or what was passed on, "they did the best they could with what they knew" and you have what it takes to move on. It's time to tell a new, inspiring story about where you came from and where you're going.
Love, Jay
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